They did not say yes, but you already know the answer

There is a principle from philosophy called Grice's Razor. It says: do not multiply meanings beyond what is necessary. Understand what someone obviously means.

I did not learn about it in a philosophy class. I learned it in a research lab and over case prep calls with friends.

When I was doing my PhD, I used to practice consulting cases with friends. I would text them, "Can you case me today?" And instead of saying yes, they would respond with something like, "Send the calendar invite." Or, "Let me go grab my calculator." No one ever said the word yes. But I never needed them to. The meaning was obvious.

The same thing happened with my advisor. I once asked if I could do an internship. He did not say no. What he said was, "I strongly recommend that you focus on your PhD." Nowhere in that sentence is the word no. But if you heard that and still thought the internship was on the table, you would be fooling yourself. He meant no. He just said it like an advisor.

People rarely say exactly what they mean in exact words. But the meaning is usually right there if you stop and read the context. The trouble is when we hear "I strongly recommend you focus on your PhD" and think, "Well, he did not technically say no, so maybe I can still do it." Or when we hear "send the calendar invite" and start wondering, "He did not sound excited, maybe he does not really want to help me." One ignores what is obviously being said, the other invents something that was never there.

I think most miscommunication comes from one of those two places. And Grice's Razor is a reminder to just hear what is being said and leave it there.